How much is enough ?

How does one promote the culture of recognition? Is the modern day pat on the back replaced by the praising of another person's praise to the subject all through the email ? Does it make one wanna feel heartened or does it make one fear such public recognition, especially if lots of self-help sounding terms are being used?

I know I would rather receive praise in private for small achievements done and perhaps a trophy for a job truly well done. But the common theory of scolding in private and praising in public don't work exactly for me in this case. Guess I am more for receiving praise in confidence... especially if it involves lots of "theoretical" sounding lines, simply sounds very contrived to me. Also, public praise sometimes pose the danger of being used as a tool to humble or insult some other people who are on the spot. Imagine this.

"See, Jene can do it so well, how come you cannot?" or "good job Jene .. *turns to another* why is this so substandard? Take a cue from Jene lar" ....

Anyway, in my opinion, praising is meant to motivate and make someone feel good. So if those objectives cannot be achieved, I suspect the praise might not always be good, whatever those textbooks say.

Signs - Fiji

Good things come in pairs, I guess Signs as well. Today Qida's friend Marcus came to visit. And he pointed me out to the Fiji water that we consumed as well.

And somehow it was the strange turn of events that led to the bottle ending on the kitchen top which caught his eye.

- Got the bottle at the Batman Premiere organised by my bank. Wondered why the bottle came with cornflakes and Batman newspaper.

- Goodie bag sat on the floor for 2 weeks.

- Rediscovered yesterday during spring cleaning time.

- Took it out and placed it on the kitchen top.

- Met Marcus for dinner as Qida forgot his keys.

- Invited him up as he would be searching for an apartment & wanted to take a look.

- He saw the bottle and identify it for what it is ...

The only natural water with the maximum Silica (that keeps people young)
The water that tastes different due to the PH 7.5
The water that costs $3 per litre in SG

And a trivial : What is one thing animals taste that humans can't? Pure water .. ..

AND best part is ...they are environmentally friendly!

Is there always a silver lining?

What do you do with emotional people? How do you deal with conflict? How does one "gently" influence?

I learnt it the hard way .. perhaps the only way (that will last for a while) ...

And I know how to do it better now. And I'm thankful I didn't let my own emotions get the better of it.

And apparently, it's the Universal Truth . It's the listening. Which is also about being sensitive to the other person's feeling and why they are feeling so. Then suggesting a solution to let them think they are in control again.

This seems really familar, literally jumping out from "How to win friends and Influencing people" by Dale Carnegie. Only difference is this time, I have to Just Do It. And somehow, it worked.

Cool out of office messages from talkingcock.com

HONEST AUTO-REPLY EMAIL MESSAGES:

1. I'm at my desk right now, because I'm playing Tetris. I'll respond to your email as soon as I set a new high score.

2. I'm sorry I am unable to respond to your email but… actually, I'm not sorry at all, but just too pai seh to tell you, that's all.

3. I'm not at my desk right now as I'm away having an affair with my boss's wife, while my boss is away having an affair with his secretary.

4. I will not be going to my office from 28 July to 1 August as I buay tahan the ERP charges and the petrol costs. Find me at home instead, k?

5. Please be informed that from tomorrow, I will no longer be with this company, as I will be leaving to help some Nigerians I met on the Internet to move some money into my bank account.

6. If I do not respond to your email by August 9th, please avenge my death.

7. I can't answer your email right now because I'm in the toilet taking a big shit. You want honest, I give you honest.

8. I am currently unable to reply to your emails as I am taking a nap. Email me again when I wake up, can?

9. I will not be in my office for the rest of the day because I went to watch 'The Dark Knight'. Unless you're my boss, in which case, I went for meeting at a client's office.

10. I will be away from my office until 31 August, as I am on leave. During this time, please do not email me with stupid jokes, photos of your ugly children, 'inspirational' stories you got from donno where, chain e-mail letters, viruses, etc.

11. I'm not at my desk right now, because I'm escaping through the toilet window.

12. Actually, I've been back for 3 months oreddy, but I just donno how to turn this stupid Auto-Reply thing off!

Cognitive Dissonance - My Sign

It was a free and easy Saturday which started with Dim Sum at 蓮香樓 at Wellington Street with Alvin, Daisy, Lynn and Da. It has to be the most crowded restaurant I had been to so far. While it still served Dim Sum in tradional way, i.e. in carts, it was so crowded that one had to literally fight for the Dim Sum .. for the carts would have been empty by the time it reached you. Not much of a relaxing sit-down-and-wait-to-pick-your-dimsum style I supposed. As such, Alvin and Daisy braved the maddeningly crowd to get a share of their Dim Sum before the cart came our way. In fact, ambushing outside the kitchen was something we were contemplating as well.

It was truly no mean feat to partake in a feast of good Dim Sum in the authentic setting ... amongst a rowdy crowd, dangerously close seating, and grouchy waiters with their hot kettles and sudden movements when refilling the teapots.

After that, me and Da proceeded to have some cold desserts to avoid evaporating in that heat. After that, we had to rush to IFC to avoid getting a heat stroke. Yes, it was that unbearably hot for any unsheltered space other than the beach. So we spent some time in Starbucks reading newspaper and caught Wall-E.



A enchanting show which managed to amazingly evoke many emotions like love and humour though there's almost little dialogue. The first thoughts that came to me mind was how Da has lost his voice due to an ucler in his throat. .. and how it was in real life not so easy to communicate, let alone demonstrate actions of love if one cannot speak. As such, one has to give the thumbs up to Wall-E who managed to do that effortlessly. Also, I liked the show very much for its environmental themes who I didn't expect (as I didn't know what Wall-E was about) and it subsequently dawned upon me that perhaps it's a sign to me. In fact, what happened after the show were signs after signs.

Wall-E awakened the environmental activist in me which was pretty much in a coma for the last 3 years, in the pursuit of career and everything else. I have looked at the new awakening in the Green movement and simply reflected that it was exactly like how I imagined it could be popular..i.e. through making monetary cents or through making it hip and fashionable. Well, just look at the tussle over "I am not a plastic bag" and all the hype ard "An inconvenient truth" and such.

Shortly after, we had dinner and passed by a shop selling resin-silver jewellery from Paris and it got me thinking abt my wish to be into some kind of business. But before I did, I gave them some business for their inspiration to me .. .

Mine's the white-silver-brown version.

And finally, the last inspiration came most unexpectedly in the ParknShop supermarket. I was looking for the most gentle washing detergent and was almost about to pay for the $27 bottle when something caught my eye ... an entire shelf of environmental friendly products...ranging from detergent to tolilet cleaner, to recycled hand towels to washing liquids... And its tagline is "For people who care" ... They are Ecover, mainly manufacturing ecological detergents and cleansing agents. This is what i found on their webby.

Ecover stands for careful enterprise. This means that we produce our washing and cleaning products in an ecological, economic and socially responsible way in a unique ecological factory. Honest and open, we respect people and the environment. In our view, this is the only way to guarantee a sustainable future.

So i exchange my $27 for the $50 per pop detergent.

Clearly.. the business opportunity is in closing that tremendous gap unless target audience is going to be for the rich or uber rich.

Anyway, my idea is born (trade secret). And I even thought of the name ... Green Jene (pun intended "gene").

Now the only thing left is to strike Mark Six (aka Hong Kong Toto).

And finally, the inspiration is wrapped up nicely by the recent signs and cognitive dissonance ... recall last blog on the focus group training when I was rated as an environmentalist but somehow my actions don't match up ... and I recall also how guilty I feel for using all those disposible styroform for my morning coffee and takeaways. All that cognitive dissonance CAN go away if I make that bit more effort.

Focus group and townhall in Hong Kong

Today is a day of training of focus group. Started out as pure interesting .. until I received my karma but turning up 10 minutes late. By sheer proximity, I was invited as the guinea pig for 2 social experiments .. which is an ultimate test of my ability in Cantonese.

 

Test 1

Speaker: Describe your living room ...

Me: sai ... erm...erm...

Speaker (prompts): What colour is it?

Me: Erm... Bak sek .... erm .......o you leung ji mao ...

Speaker: Mao..? You can speak in Mandarin..it's okie .. Ni you liang zhi mao ...?

Me: Wo you liang zhi mao...

Speaker: okie..let's try another person ... .

 

*End of my torture*

 

Moral behind the test: He can guide people into "visualizing" things, first he will speak to them, then look upwards himself, and the person will follow. That's what a moderator can do to get people to visualize. Unfortunately both me and the other test object didn't respond according. In my test, it was a biased test as I was totally freaked out trying to think of the right Cantonese terms that I probably am not acting in my natural capacity.

 

Test 2

(class was broken into 2 teams and we are supposed to come up with a survey to test if i) are you a beauty addict  ii) are you environmental . Note: following conversation in Cantonese)

 

Speaker 2: Can you grade yourself from 1 to 5, 5 being very much, are you environmental? Keep it to yourself first.

Me: 4

Speaker 2 (turns to class to the team who design the survey)

Team: Do you use bag instead of plastic bags

Me: No

Team: Do you take public transport home?

Me: Does cab counts?

Team: No

Me: No

Team: Do you turn off the tap when brushing your teeth ..

Me: Yes

.

.

.

After 15 questions, I got score of 9 yes and class was asked to guess how I rate myself. Most guessed 3 and others 4.

 

Moral behind the test: Defining the "operational definitions" was the most difficult step in testing concepts as different people can have different ideas of a concept. Some examples are sympathy, prejudice etc etc. So key is to define the right definitions so you can ask the right questions to uncover the response to the concept.

 

After the trying but fun day, there was yet another test lying around .. .this time I was the one with the answers...

 

xx : Townhall hai bin dou?

yy : Hai UA Cinema.

xx : Townhall hai meh ah?

yy: hmm ji ..

xx: jene, what is townhall ?

me: a meeting/forum with many people, usually senior mgmt will speak and invite questions from the crowd..

xx: oh..so it's not the place lar...

me: no...

xx: Hong Kong really has places called townhall....so it's a noun ... not a place ...

me: ???

 

Takeways: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noun#Proper_nouns_and_common_nouns ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Town_hall_meeting 

 

 

 

Bad things speak for themselves; good things need special mentioning by us - Friendly day in Hong Kong

I pronounce today a FRIENDLY day.

 

8.30am : Met a friendly driver who spoke English after losing the taxi fight to 5 other people who jumped out from nowhere.

8.30pm: Met a friendly driver who spoke Cantonese and some Mandarin after a bad headache and stomachache.

9.30pm: Spoke to Shuying, wenmei and Karen all in one hour.

 

Note that the first 2 events are absolute rarities in Hong Kong.

 

And note that my stomach is still churning from the bacteria infection from apparently some food I ate last week.

Great Sunday Dinner - 私房菜 wannabe

My preferred salad finally identified - Rockets!~



Garlic bread using fresh garlic




Australian Sirloin with potato, onion, black pepper & a dash of Rockets



Red wine to match


Oh did I menition about lunch where we went to 筷子記 to try 車仔面 and saw this

What is "Rape oil" ?


The table design of completely random objects

Went to this smelly 餃子園 after the disappointing 車仔面

Sour & Spicy Soup that was neither sour nor spicy but thankfully the 餃子 was edible.

After this lunch, our homecooked dinner was fantastic in comparison even though it already was in itself.

Cyberport Cheat

After seeing a full page on The Standard on a Greek festival at Cyberport, I was determined to go there for one of those weekend adventures. Hence, Qida and I made our way to the long awaited Greek fair despite his super hangover state. Due to the tremendous effort we made to get there, the shock was equally tremendous as we witnessed the less than impressive "Greek festival". And the whole Cyberport was one gigantic White Elephant. Other than in my house, it's probably the only place in Hong Kong that is not packed with its characteristic crowd. You can call it an escape or a gigantic waste of money (before I went, I read that Cyberport costs $10billion HKD and it's meant to be an IT hub... [no wonder some say Hong Kong and Singapore are very alike...even in the quest to own this hub and that hub).


A Cyber looking port .... alas... with no people.


The styrofoam/cupboard looking displays did a great disservice to the famous Greek architecture.


Think even Shenzhen's "世界之窗" did a better job.


Poor Athena ...


The sky and coastline lends some saving grace

Anyway, we simply had to escape that utterly disappointing exhibition and hence we went to Causeway Bay for some movie and shopping. .. and one of my learnings is ...never wear strips polo shirts in Hong Kong, especially in blue and white.. I almost couldnt locate Da twice ... see what i mean.



The Taiwanese Style Hotpot .. best part was the 20% discount for settling bill before 8.30pm.

Obsessions

Francis - Auld Lang Syne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1n-f-Zusaw&feature=related

Al Green - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart (ft. joss stone)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbpDfTRJsus&feature=related

Labels or love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtfg--U-sP4&feature=related

The Pfeifer Broz Orchestra - Movie Theme (2008)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuhKIWe-QXk&feature=related

Jem - Its Amazing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdRXA40GGks&feature=related

Grey's Anatomy Theme Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtfg--U-sP4&feature=related

Dreams

That day, due to a strange clash of stars and signs, I went to this youtube clip on Randy Pausch, the dying professor, who gave his last speech. I cleverly devoted 1 full hour to his lecture on how he achieved his dreams and I congratulated him ..for he simehow managed to have done most of it during his living days ... and to a certain extent, he perhaps can go without regrets. ..And it's amazing that the song Non je ne regrette rien (by Edith Piaf ) strangely came to my attention for the first time that day as well when I was searching for her La Vie En Rose.

After the one hour lecture and another one on Time mgmt, I concluded that
- you cannot live your dreams if you do not know what your dreams are .. duh
- you cannot manage your time if you don't have a purpose; there is no point in managing time if you don't have a purpose (since there is no opportunity cost for lost time if there's nothing you should be doing.)

So..if I have to carve out my dreams ..what would it be?
- Be my own boss before 30
- Earn my first million before 30 (S$)
- Travel the world extensively (US, Iceland, Taiwan, Eastern Europe, Turkey are next up in my list)
- Have 2 kids before 30 and stay trim and fit in spite of it
- Dance salsa properly
- Sing in a jazz bar
- Learn texas hold'em and beat Qida
- Write a book or a good blog? My latest favourite columnist is www.vittachi.com
- Learn how to speak Cantonese properly? (since I am here .. better throw that in .. it would be so much easier if they have SATC in cantonese)
- Really know Chinese History .. not just whatever is showing on movies (yes, I am talking about 赤壁)
- Know elementary theology (perhaps I shd cover one topic every week)

Signs

Recent weekends had been filled up with a "healthy dose" of Sex and the City. I don't really know why I like it so much. Perhaps it's sense of identification with the many questions that Carrie would identify with every episode... perhaps it's the ability to relate to the various dilemmas of the modern women.. I'm not sure ..but each time I see it, I get different signs and get different weird ideas. I think Hong Kong is like an Asian New York perhaps, with its Chinese takeaways, breakneck pace, happening places to check out if you have the time and money... 

 

Recent weekdays on the other hand, are filled with an overdose of self-help. Nope, it's not self inflicted but I can't help but feel that I am living in a self-help book every other day. Yes, ask me when I am back next time.

 

Anyway, since moderation is golden and everything in excess is bad .. .I need something to help make sense of everything..something to give a sign. So I went to my favourite place to get one ... http://paulocoelhoblog.com/ and once again,  I am greeted by exactly the words I needed to see...

 

By Paulo Coelho - In search of signs

We may think at times that the only thing life offers us tomorrow, is to repeat everything we did today. But if we pay close attention, we will see that no two days are alike.
Each morning brings a hidden blessing; a blessing which is unique to that day, and which cannot be kept or re-used. If we do not use this miracle today, it will be lost.
This miracle is in the small things of daily life; we must live in the understanding that at every moment there is a way out of each problem, the way of finding that which is missing, the right clue to the decision which must be taken in order to change our entire future.
But how to find the courage for this? As I see it, God speaks to us through signs. It is an individual language which requires faith and discipline in order to be fully absorbed.

"Modern man tried to eliminate life's uncertainties and doubts. And in doing so he left his soul dying of hunger; the soul feeds off mysteries" - says the dean of Saint Francis Cathedral.
There is a meditation exercise which consists of adding - generally for ten minutes a day - the reasons for each of our actions. For example: "I now read the newspaper to keep myself informed. I now think of such-and-such a person, because the subject I read about lead me to do so. I walked to the door, because I am going out". And so forth.
Buddha called this "conscious attention". When we see ourselves repeating our ordinary routine, we realize how much wealth surrounds our life. We understand each step, each attitude. We discover important things, and useless thoughts.

At the end of a week - discipline is always fundamental - we are more conscious of our faults and distractions, but we also understand that, at times, there was no reason to act the way we did, that we followed our impulses, our intuition; and now we begin to understand this silent language which God uses in order to show us the true path. Call it intuition, signs, instinct, coincidence, any name will do - what matters is that through "conscious attention" we realize that we are often guided to the right decision.
And this makes us stronger and more confident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I look forward my signs tomorrow.

三大規則 ..... 非得牢記在心

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